Taller women dating shorter men
All this time, she’d told herself that she didn’t like short men because she simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them; in fact, the real reason she wasn’t attracted to short men was because she had a fixed image in her mind of what a man should look and act like as a result of her upbringing, and she needed the men she seeks out romantically to fit the same exact image of the men in her family. I spend more hours than you’d believe trying to help men and women change the type of person to whom they’re sexually attracted. The first step is to dig deep and ask yourself what in your history makes you attracted to a certain type, as well as what in your history repels you from a certain type.
In my work with women, I’ve found that there are two basic reasons why most women won’t date a short man: Some women will feel nervous about being too big, telling themselves they’ll look smaller if they’re with a bigger guy; others simply want the knight in shining armor, and they need a man to live up to a fantasy image of masculinity and size, telling themselves that a bigger man is also automatically emotionally stronger, too.
I knew people starred; I couldn’t stand to look at our reflection as we walked into a restaurant.
Previously, I had my picture taken with a dear friend’s mother who is a tiny woman and I look like an absolute Amazon next to her, so I dreaded the idea of ever seen a photograph of this Jockey and I together even though I considered him devastatingly handsome. And because I’m a very strong personality, I didn’t want a man that I could intimidate in any way.
The message many women send short men goes something like this: Yeah, sorry, but nothing you could say or do could ever give you a chance with me. For those of you who insist that you’re not attracted to short men, you should, at least, try to have a good reason why you’re not.
Men and women both fall prey to the (remarkably persistent) myth that sexual attraction works on auto-pilot, as if we are all preprogrammed to be attracted to the ones who captivate our attention. The type of person you’re attracted to depends largely on your beliefs. My client, Alexis, comes from the most machismo family I can imagine, full of firefighters, Marines, and gobs of Old Spice. In Alexis’ family, she was the only daughter and the men in her family were brawny and tough.
Yup, classic stories about that involves heightism. Some people won’t mind if it’s chocolate or vanilla. Some just look out for personality first instead of looks. If you get rejected by women who are taller than you, please know that it’s not YOU. You’re simply not their type, maybe it’s your personality, perhaps it’s your height. As I shared earlier, the taller girl I dated loved my personality. There is a feeling of protection that I get from a taller man, real or imagined. I stopped forcing myself to go out with men because it’s the politically correct thing to do. I had opened myself up to this man that turned out to be perfect even though on the outside, being so short, it didn’t seem like he would have been my type. I could wax on for pages about how wonderful he is to me and how much I enjoy having him in my life.
Before we begin: Here are a couple of fun facts about my previous dating life. We dated because she thought I was confident and funny. Okay, that may not be the best analogy, I’m sure you understand where I’m coming. Some just look out for personality first, instead of looks. Once, I attempted to date a shorter man, who was 5’6″ on a good day. Because I was at a time in my life where I thought that I could not be so shallow as to date a man, or not, simply because of his height. First, I want to say that it took me a while to overcome the height issue even though I continued dating him and several other men until I settled on him.
For you maybe it’s a different thing, maybe he’s bald or a different nationality, so just be open and take your time to let your comfort and attraction grow. If you enjoyed this dating short guys post, let me know.Sexual attraction largely derives from your upbringing.What’s interesting about my client, Alexis, is that she had it wrong when it comes to her attitude about short men.Check out this equation: Dating Short Men = Uphill Battle. I haven’t conducted a study of my own on the subject, but I can assure you that scores of women of every type will say they simply aren’t attracted to short men.Decoded, this equation refers to the tough time many short men have trying to find a romantic partner because some women won’t date someone shorter than they are. If you push them, they will hedge a bit: “I don’t know why, I’m just not.” As a psychologist, it’s not my job or place to be mean-spirited or hurtfully blunt, but it is my job to tell it like it is in reality.